Duane sent me a mail to ask me for lunch. The email was rather cold but I appreciated his first move. We hardly talked since sunday.
I met him for lunch and he tried to kiss me on the lips... I was quite reluctant to do so since I find it so hard to pretend that everything is ok... However, I did and we went to lunch.
We talked again and he blamed me for not trusting him... I told him that I'd love to see how he would react if he were in my shoe. To that he answer that he would give me the benefice of the doubt... Yeah right ! I said to him that since I do not do to him the fourth of what he makes me bear, if easy to make that kind of statement. I told him, I can act like he does if he wanna, and  if this is the kind of relationship he wanna have, I can give it a try but I'm not sure he'll enjoy it. To that he said that he's time for him to find another flat...... See I thouth, he knows damn well he could not tolerate this....
However this is not what I wanted to hear, I was hurt and vexed, I told him, if this is what he wants.... He said no, this is what you want... I said to him, is not me who just said so but you and to that I gave him his ring back ...
I couldn't believe, what was happening, I was mortified, and wanted to cry ! I couldn't since my colleagues were few tables away...
I tried a last straw, and said, well Duane I don't know if you meant what you said but if you want me to wear the ring, you'll have to say something that will make me wanna wear it !
He said he hasn't got imagination as fertile as mine !?!
What one's can thing of that ? That should come to him naturally, all he have to say, pls forgive me, you're the one I want to spend the rest of my life with !!! How hard is it to come up with something like that, huh ?
When I came back from work, I thought this can't be over !!! I've got to find a way of making him want me in his life, so I soften up a little.
Before going to bed alone, I gave him a goodnight kiss on the lips.
He came later on to massage my back which was hurting me like crazy ! I thought that was nice of him and I wished he would stay in bed with me, but he left....
I wanted to join him in the other room, but thought what's the point ? let him have some room to think....
I'll see tomorrow if it is really the end